How to Be a Good Trip-Sitter

It can be scary for a friend to try a drug for the first time. Here are some things you can say to keep your friend calm while they’re using psychedelics.

“Don’t worry, this will only last 8-12 hours.” — Are they having a bad time? Remind them that this won’t last forever, but they’ll definitely be unhappy for a while.

“Should I let the frogs in? They’re waiting.” — Frogs are a weird concept even when you’re sober.

“There are bugs in your skin.” — Bugs bugs bugs bugs bugs let them out!

“Billy Mays is here to talk to you about Oxiclean.” — Nothing like the stain-fighting power of Oxiclean to keep your spirits high.

Alright, it’s time to remove your toes. Thursday is Toe Day, you know this.” — Having a routine is always beneficial for mental health.

“Bald people aren’t real.” — Special twist if they’re bald.

“Papa Smurf was just assassinated in Dallas.”— R.I.P. to a real one.

“It’s milk time.”— They’ll know.

“My face is melting again, I’ll be right back.” — This will keep them calm. This is probably something they are actually seeing.

“None of us like you and I’ve been sleeping with your Uncle Rodney behind the Chili’s on every full moon” — Rodney’s just got something really special I can’t explain it.

“Time to harvest your organs.” — You could help so many people, Kevin. Don’t be selfish. Todd in Vancouver needs your corneas.

“Have you thought about your plans for your body after you pass?” — Never too early to plan your estate.

“They hit the Pentagon!” — Some people who experienced 9/11 relive it everyday. Now your friend can have a shot.

“I simply don’t know what to do with the 10,000 cans of beef ravioli in the bathroom” — New neural pathways have been connected in their brain, maybe they’ll have a solution.

“The bees are coming.” — Uh oh.

“Your cat just spoke to me in perfect Mandarin that the day of reckoning is coming” — Just like the prophecy predicted.